It’s easy to talk about how upset I am with:the new president,the threat of environmental destruction, cuts to Medicare and Social Security.
Yet the truth is not so simple when
I am no longer growing stronger with every passing year,
No longer the first choice among job applicants,
or as quick or agile.
My heart is deeper, I’m sure I’ve grown wiser, and my experience is important.
Why don’t they seem to care?
It isn’t just me I’ve talked to the others. They get the same responses from the same companies after 65. They want somebody younger, someone who will stay longer, and cost less.
It’s a little frightening, and sometimes more than a little.
Instead of keeping up my house and improving things, I find myself wondering how I will manage my expenses, if I will be able to keep my house or maintain a car.
I’ve worked all my life; many of the years I had two jobs.
It’s not as if I want a lot; Just a few new clothes each year;
A car for transportation, with tires that are safe in the winter;
to be able to go to the doctor when I need to and pay for medicine if I should need it.
Lately, every year, it seems more like the world is looking down on people like me, People who don’t have enough money.
As if we should be ashamed,
as if we had been lazy, as if we hadn’t contributed so much for so long.
All I really want is to have enough to enjoy the days and the people in them without worrying about losing everything. I wonder if they notice, me and if they do why they don’t care?
I won’t tell anyone that I’m afraid; just talk about the insensitivity, irresponsibility, and greed that fuels their need to destroy the new deal, to avoid the expense so they can add to their already incredible sums of money.
There are ways to stop myself from feeling fear. Anger is the tool I reach for when the fear is not acceptable and like a hammer it smashes the world of which I am afraid.